


Destination

by FiccinDylan



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: (of a secondary character), Actor Stiles, Alternate Universe - Actors, Angst with a Happy Ending, Children of Characters, Drug Use, Fanart, Overdose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-11 00:58:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7018270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiccinDylan/pseuds/FiccinDylan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles Stilinski is an up and coming actor waiting for his big break.  He finally gets it, but it may be at the expense of his family. </p><p>Is it worth it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Destination

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JennyEllenWicked](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyEllenWicked/gifts), [Dream_tempo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream_tempo/gifts), [devilscut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilscut/gifts).



> When the poster for Deep Water Horizon came out, everyone applauded the vulnerability and depth that Dylan was able to show in such a subtle way. It made me start thinking about what was going through his mind when they took the picture and then I thought HOW CAN I TURN THIS INTO AN ANSTY STEREK FIC!?
> 
> This was supposed to be a drabble.. sigh. 
> 
> Blame Jenny.  
> And Alec!  
> And heck, DC too, just because she's fabulous.
> 
> * * *

**

 

Stiles Stilinski is an actor.

He’s good too. Until all the supernatural bullshit started, he even headlined in the school’s dramatic productions. He started taking drama as a way to piss off Finstock for not letting him and Scott on the lacrosse team and found that his photographic memory and natural penchant towards “embellishing the truth” found a natural outlet on the stage.

He started doing little videos in between the monsters of the week and garnered a bit of a following on YouTube. When he graduated he was accepted into NYU’s Tisch and studied acting while starting his family.

Derek was always supportive. They agreed they’d stay in New York for a while so Stiles could work the theater scene and then they’d move back to Beacon Hills to have kids.

Stiles starred in a few challenging off Broadway shows which garnered him acclaim without the stress of fame. He was happy and fulfilled and after five years, he was ready to go back home.

Madison Anne Stilinski Hale is born shortly after they move back and Benjamin Andrew is born 3 years later. Stiles helps out with the dramatic productions at the school from time to time and does some community theater, but most of his time is taken by the supernatural nonsense that plagues their little town.

Still though, he’s happy - a little stressed, sure, but happy. Really it’s to be expected. He puts a lot of work into updating the bestiary and working out concoctions and runes with Deaton and Lydia. He knows he contributes, so he doesn’t mind that when thank you’s are handed out, they seem to skip him. He doesn’t really mind when everyone fawns over Derek’s cunning or Scott’s bravery; Stiles strengths are subtle and understated, but just as important.

He’s just… sometimes he wonders ‘ _what if_?’. Hayden moved to LA a couple of years after he graduated and booked the lead on an insanely popular teen drama. He’d been her coach his senior year. He’s happy for her, really he is.

It’s just sometimes… well, he still makes videos from time to time. And people watch and leave funny comments. Some people on Tumblr have even made gifs that have turned into memes. Reddit loves him.

“The internet appreciates me.” Stiles wonders if that’s the new ‘ _appreciated after their gone_ ’ mantra. He’ll be able to receive all the accolades and kudos he wants, just at the hands of strangers.

Stiles admits he’s not being entirely reasonable. When he does star in a local play, Derek and the kids are front row center and they cheer the loudest and Derek always brings him flowers and tells him that he’ll be happy to help him break a leg and Stiles always laughs at how Derek thinks the tradition of not wishing good luck is ludicrous.

So overall he’s happy -sometimes a little stressed- but he’s okay.

Deucalion “Duke” Sternberg is a Hollywood casting legend. He’s also secretly a centuries old werewolf and several times great grand-cousin to recently reformed, former Alpha Deucalion. Duke is in town to visit Deucalion in Eichen House and decides to take in a show to pass the time between visiting hours.

He sees Stiles and is blown away.

“I recognize you from the YouTube, kid! Your videos are cute, but I didn’t know you had this in you! You’re Estragon was _inspired_ , and for someone so young to play an old man with such pathos and respect, but still capture the absurdity of the play? Brilliant! You’re what? 25, 28? A little old in the tooth to be getting started, but people eat that newbie shit up. I can book you kid. Let me get you hooked up with a manager and an agent and I’ll make you a star!”

Stiles wonders if the man has an external lung, but can’t even form the words to ask as he presses his business card into Stiles’ hand. Derek finds him a few minutes later, still gawking towards the door Duke went through.

“Stiles, are you okay? Did he put a spell on you? Did he bite you?”

Stiles looks at Derek with wide, hopeful eyes.

“No, he didn’t bite me. He wants to sign me!”

Two weeks later Stiles is packing two large suitcases for L.A.

“Derek, people don’t get _discovered_ anymore! This is amazing and huge. He actually answered when I called and he loved the demo reels I sent.”

“So you’ll go out there and audition and then what?” Derek asks as he helps Stiles fold his clothes. They’ve been talking about this nonstop for two weeks, but can never seem to get past this question.

“And then make it big, baby! Buy the house and land back from the government outright and really start renovating and rebuilding. Also, and I’m going to be real with you, I’ve told you about my mom, right?”

Derek nods. Claudia Stilinski was also a typical big fish in a little pond. Charm and exuberance radiated from her pores and she could often be seen taking over the decorative piano at the _Lord &Taylor_ and putting on impromptu concerts much to the delight of staff and patrons.

She had the talent to really make it, perhaps not in Hollywood, but Stiles knew she could have taken the theater world by storm. She was on her way to an audition when she got pulled over by a Virginia State trooper. The trooper let her go with a warning and his phone number. Two years later they got married and moved back to his hometown of Beacon Hills, CA.

She became pregnant with Stiles and never looked back.

“I just feel like,” Stiles started, perched on top of his suitcase as Derek wrangles it shut. “That in a way taking this chance is a way to honor her dreams. She said that she never regretted not going after acting, but sometimes she would seem a little wistful. I wanna do this for me and for her.” Derek finally closes the suitcase and kisses Stiles sweetly. That night they make love after packing Stiles’ Jeep and the next morning Derek sends him on his way.

He rents a hotel by the week and becomes friends with the people on his floor who are also in Hollywood chasing their dreams. He has meetings with potential managers and agents. He settles on a company with Duke’s suggestion and right away books small walk on roles on popular dramas and some commercials. After several months, he books a national commercial and Derek and the kids move to Hollywood.

He has moderate success for a few years after his family arrives, but suddenly work starts to dry up. There are still residuals and bit parts here and there, but the competition is fierce and Stiles fits into a strange age demo. He can’t pull off playing a teenager anymore, but there aren’t a lot of roles being written for his age range. Every audition is packed with a hundred hims and standing out from the crowd is getting more and more difficult.

The stress is starting to get to him. He’s upped the adderal which he started taking again and added an anti-depressent. He has his marijuana card and uses a discreet dispensary. He’s keeping himself grounded, that’s important, and Derek and the kids give him focus. Still, it’s tough.

Derek hates L.A. He hates the interstate with its endless lanes, and smog inducing cars. He hates that there are no forests for he and Madison (Benji is human) to shift and run around in. He hates that the kids are starting to get weirdly superficial; that they ask to be bought certain labels so they can model them ‘for the gram’ and get likes, whatever the hell that is. Madison just turned 11 and Benji is 8. Madison asked Derek what a trainer was and could she have one and Derek explained it was someone at the gym who helps you get fit. She rolled her eyes (another habit they picked up that Derek hates) and told him it was a different thing. He looked up the waist cincher and blanched at the thought that Madison would ever think she’d need one. Apparently four of her friends at school have them.

Derek hates L.A.

Stiles _loves_ L.A. Loves the highs of nailing an audition and getting the callback. Hell, he even loves getting interrupted for a picture or autograph while he’s out for his morning coffee. He found out about one coffee shop that the paps frequent on Thursdays and he’s always there making sure he looks great and greets the fans. There are still some who remember him and he’s grateful.

He calls it networking, says he’s hustling for their next role, but Derek wonders if it’s worth it. Stiles wants to dip into their savings to put a down payment on a house, but Derek is resistant. This was supposed to be a hobby and Derek said he would be supportive and he feels like he has been. He understands that acting is Stiles’ passion, but he’d always bucked at the thought of fame.

“But Derek, fame is how you get the parts! There’s a part out there being written just for me, I can feel it! But I won’t get it if no one knows who I even am!” He pleads with Derek to see the truth and Derek understands and that’s why it worries him.

Stiles only remembers the mania of accomplishment and glad-handing from his manager after he gets his cut and from his agent after she gets hers. He only remembers the tiny reviews in the trades and the people who stop him on the street to say a famous line from one of his commercials or to ask about characters on a show he’s guested on.

And that’s okay, because that’s what Stiles is supposed to do. Derek is the one who protects him. He’s the one who forms exit strategies so Stiles can do what he wants without getting hurt. He did it in Beacon Hills. When Stiles went head first into a coven carrying only a bat and an armory of bravery, Derek was right on his tail, ready to take on the physical brunt of whatever magic they threw his way.

They work in concert and Stiles is usually on board when Derek voices his misgivings, but on this matter Stiles remains firm and Derek wonders what to do. Because even though he loves and supports his husband, it’s become suddenly clear that Stiles doesn’t see himself through Derek’s eyes.

He doesn’t like what the business has done to Stiles, what it is doing. He doesn’t like what Stiles has become. He hates the desperation that plagues every decision, the stress in his man’s sweat, the tension in his brow. He hates the smells that Stiles brings home after his nearly nightly networking parties. He hates that he’s gotten fast and loose with taking his medicine, that he smokes too much and he’s started doing a little coke to fit in.

He hates that they used to have viewing parties for his commercials and TV spots with the kids and when Stiles showed on the screen, the kids would howl at the TV and cheer and Stiles would blush and burrow into Derek’s arm. They’d drink champagne (sparkling cider for the kids) out of fancy flutes and then make pizzas for dinner. Now Stiles “networks” and instead brushes off the bit parts while he hits the streets and tries to rustle up interest for that big role.

“I know it’s out there, Derek! I can taste it! It’s being written for me as we speak, the thing that’s going to make me big and make me a star, just you wait!”

“Stiles, we’ve been waiting, and it was okay because this used to be about acting.”

“It’s still about acting, but you don’t get the part without-”

“Without the applause, I know.” Derek grabs Stiles’ head between his head and tries to get him to focus his slightly buzzed eyes. “Babe, if you want applause, I’ll clap for you every waking hour of the day. The kids will cheer your name from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to sleep. You don’t want this anymore, why can’t you just let it go?”

Stiles shakes his head out of Derek’s embrace.

“I promised my mom I would, Derek! This is for her!”

“You promised her? Stiles, what are you talking about? She died when you were 8.”

“Not literally, shit. Figuratively Derek! I know this was her dream and I promised when I came out here that I would do this for her.”

“You’re doing coke for her?”

“Shut- _stop_. We don’t do that, that’s not us, okay?”

And Derek agrees because it’s not and he just snapped because he’s scared. He’s found little white baggies in Stiles’ car and he thinks about the moment some trooper is going to pull him over and the scandal that will ensue. He wonders about jail time and will they allow conjugal visits for gay couples? He doesn’t let the kids ride in the Jeep anymore, says it’s a hunk of junk and Stiles just balks. Will Stiles be able to see the kids if he’s in jail? Derek doesn’t say anything, tries not to be judgemental, but his mind races all the same. He can see this is the beginning of something, but the only thing he can think of is _the end_.

Stiles doesn’t let it go. He doesn’t give up and he won’t quit. So he stays in L.A. and Derek takes the kids back to Beacon Hills. Stiles goes home for a weekend twice a month. At first. He becomes fuzzy on the dates after a few months, and when he does go home it’s tense and he sleeps in the guest room.

He’s at a party one night and he’s high from something. Someone laced his something with… _something_ , and while he feels like he’s going to die, it’s not in a bad way so he lays his head back on the couch and rides it out. He’s at Jackson’s house. Jackson moved back from London and became an in-demand casting agent. He had a house in the hills with an infinity pool and marble floors. It was huge, cold and impersonal and Stiles had never been more jealous. Still, he needs the ins and Jackson gets him small parts here and there.

He hears a high pitched giggle and sees Hayden slumped over an arm chair. He waves, but she doesn’t register that he’s there. Only then does he notice that her eyes are rolled back in her head and she’s frothing at the mouth. Someone is screaming and Jackson is yelling at someone on the phone. An hour later, Jackson’s fixer is there and ushers Hayden out of the door and into the back of a black truck with tinted windows.

Stiles doesn’t remember anything until about 3pm the next day, and when he searches the online gossip blogs there’s no news of her overdose. Three weeks later he sees her at comicon premiering the next season of her hit show. He waves at her and she doesn’t recognize him.

He’s ready to go.

He misses his home, he misses his family and sleeping in bed with his husband. He misses holding their children and he hates being so far from his dad. His dad who has stopped automatically answering his calls… the few times Stiles has bothered to call.

His bags are packed and the bill at the hotel he’s been staying at has been settled. He’s said his goodbyes to friends and to Hollywood and he’s getting ready to pull onto the 5 when he gets a call.

The call.

_“This is it, Stiles! It’s the role we’ve been waiting for!_

_“It’s a disaster movie, total Oscar bait, based on a true story, the whole nine!_

_“What did I tell you, all that hard work would pay off, right?”_

Stiles grimaces.

“Get over to Studio City _now_!”

His agent doesn’t give him a chance to protest, she just hangs up and send him a text with the studio info.

He looks at the road ahead of him. He’s always stayed north so he doesn’t have to slog through the city when he goes back to Beacon Hills. He can take the 5 north and go almost directly home, or he can take the 5 south to the 170, then to the 101 into Studio City.

Damn Derek. Damn him straight to… well, not hell, Stiles doesn’t want that. But maybe to some sort of purgatory like corner where he can think about what the vows they said to each other really meant. For better or worse, till death do us part, forever and ever…

He should be supporting Stiles’ dream! They knew it wouldn’t be easy, Hollywood is tough and it’s hard to make it. It’s so competitive and everyone wants their shot. Stiles knows for sure that he fucking does! Everyone else gets a thing; Derek is a wolf, Scott is the alpha, Lydia is a banshee, Jackson is wildly successful and Stiles is going to be a big famous movie star and show everyone that just because he’s not supernatural doesn’t mean that he’s not worth… _something_.

And for his mom, right? Yes! That too, his mom wanted to be a big star, but then Stiles ruined all of her chances. She should have been more, could have been more, maybe if she’d made it big she would have been remembered for more than dying from a terrible disease. Maybe her last words to him wouldn’t have been… well, Stiles supposes they weren’t really to him, since she didn’t seem to know who he even was.

Stiles sits and stares at the exit signs from the shoulder of the highway when his phone rings. It’s Derek.

“Do you think you’ll make it home before dinner or should we just plan on a big breakfast tomorrow?” Derek asks excitedly. He’s been waiting for this day for a long time now. Stiles agreed that they would go to counseling when he got him and family counseling too. Derek was excited to have his husband back home, to have his family whole again.

“There’s been a delay, Der. I gotta go, but I’ll call you when I get more details. Love you, bye.” Stiles says, hanging up before Derek can question him or not say _‘I love you, too’_ back. Stiles ignores Derek’s call and heads south towards his dream.

He gets texts along the way.

_Stiles come home._

_We need you home._

_Please, don’t shut me out, come home._

_Duck Stiles, call me right now!_

_Stiles, please._

Derek will understand, Stiles is sure of it. He knows he’s pissed off now, but he also knows that Derek loves him uncondi- well… a whole lot. Once he gets confirmed for the part, he’ll explain to Derek and Derek will understand. If the audition goes well, he’ll even have his team rush the contracts to make it official as soon as possible. Hell, he’ll take a pay cut and less residuals on the backend. But he can do this. He can have his dream and his family. This is just a small setback, but if he can pull this off, it will all be worth it.

He’s brilliant at the audition. He was already familiar with the disaster and the book the movie was to be based off of. He read with confidence and cunning and they were on the phone with his management before he even finished reading. They’d start production in a month and then shooting two weeks after that. Stiles was to go home, grow his hair out and grow a beard.

He’s elated. It’s everything he’s been working towards and as if on autopilot he calls Derek.

“Stiles-”

“Derek, I got it! I got the part!” There’s silence and suddenly Stiles remembers that he was supposed to wait to make this call. Wait until he wasn’t so jacked on adrenaline and desperation. Stiles wonders if that time ever really exists.

“Stiles… I- what part? I thought we were done with this? I thought you were coming home.”

“ _Deep Water Horizon_ , babe! Caleb Holloway, it’s the part that was written just for me! I’m a bit older, but you know I always skew young, I played teenagers until I was close to 30-”

“Stiles, why-” Stiles can hear the frustration in Derek’s voice and tries to instill more enthusiasm into his own.

“It’s my ticket to the A-list, Der!” It’s the wrong tactic and it sounds nearly manic and Stiles begins to sweat as he hears Derek sigh.

“You don’t want this. You think you do because you have one view, but at the end of this it’s not going to be worth it. You can’t handle-”

“I don’t want this? Derek, this is all I’ve ever wanted! To be famous and known and to finally be somebody!”

“That’s funny, I thought you just wanted to act.”

“Dammit, Derek, no! We don’t do that, that’s not what we-”

“Stiles, you’ve been doing a lot of bullshit that _we_ _don’t do_ for fucking months now!” Derek seethes over the phone. Stiles stops because he knows Derek’s right. All the morality loopholes Stiles has found to get where he is. The things that Derek promised to never judge him for, but he knows still affect him.

“And you were always somebody to me, and you’re everything to the kids. I don’t understand why we can’t be enough, or why we can’t do this together, on a scale that works for all of us. Because this, Stiles? This doesn’t work for me.”

Derek could take a lot and he did gladly. Being mated to an obstinate human motivated Derek to become better at planning for both of their preservations. His foresight and ability to react in tense situations allowed Stiles to be reckless if he needed, so he wouldn’t feel that his humanity was a liability.

And it’s a sacrifice Derek is always more than willing to make, and one that’s almost killed him several times. When Stiles got himself kidnapped by a rival pack, it was was Derek punched through a wall to get him out. When Stiles threatened an incubus, it was Derek who ripped its throat out with his teeth. Stiles lives his superhero dreams because Derek makes the path clear. The problem is that Stiles doesn’t realize this is happening, he’s just considered himself to be very lucky.

Derek supports and loves his husband, and doesn’t want him to feel less than, but he remembers the reasons they left Hollywood the first time. He remembers the bullet points he wrote down when he was considering calling a lawyer to file for separation. He remembers because it’s his job to survey the landscape and find everything that’s going to be a threat to his family. He’s even prepared when that threat is Stiles himself, but it still makes him sad.

“Production starts in a month. It’s a three month shoot in Louisiana. I was hoping to come home now, maybe we can do the counseling thing still?” Stiles asks hopefully.

“You think we can be fixed in a month?”

“I still don’t understand why you think we’re broken? Derek, we knew this would be hard, we knew it would take a lot of patience and sacrifice. Why is this something you suddenly can’t handle?”

“There’s no _suddenly_ to it, Stiles. Yeah, we knew it was going to be difficult, but it was worth it when it was your passion and your dream. Now it’s your drug. You come home strung out on it and it poisons everything you touch. It’s not worth it.”

“My drug? That’s a bit dramatic don’t you think?”

“Not when it’s the truth.”

And Stiles has nothing to say to that, because in several ways it is the truth. This part screams to him, it apologizes for being late, but now that it’s here, it can be anything he wants, everything he needs, baby. Just read one more page, memorize one more line. Maybe try out some blocking? Hey, get the kids involved! Maddy can play the daughter! Isn’t that nice?

I’m everything you ever wanted in a role, Stiles; gravitas, humanity, a smattering humor and an abundance of heart. Don’t I feel good? And just think of the awards! You’ll get a Golden Globe at least, hopefully an Oscar, maybe even a SAG? Come on, baby, just one more hit, one more line.

And Stiles realizes that Derek is right, but only because Stiles realizes that there’s no way he’s going to give up that role.

“Stiles?”

“I’m coming home, babe. I’ll be there by morning.”

He goes home and it’s tense, but even more so. He tells Derek he’ll agree to everything he wants, but he’s keeping the role. He’ll go to therapy and rehab (the coke is becoming a little more persistent than just a networking tool) and he’ll drop his agent and his manager and he’ll do whatever it takes to save his family.

After this role.

_“It’s the part I was born to play!”_

_“It’s the only part you’ve been offered! You’re like a fucking junkie!”_

Derek tells him that he’s found a lawyer. That he wants to disrupt the kids’ lives as little as possible and he still loves Stiles very much and hopes they can remain amicable for their families.

Stiles starts to question why Derek won’t budge, but Derek quickly explains that he found out about what happened to Hayden. He found out because it happened again, this time in a seedy L.A. hotel, one not far from the hotel Stiles was staying at. Stiles doesn’t mention that he’s been to that hotel a few times. He’d heard about Hayden’s stay in the hospital, but didn’t think the news would reach Beacon Hills. Evidently Derek’s been keeping up with the trades.

“I know what’s on the other side of the A-list. I know what’s on the other side of that role. It’s going to ruin you and I can’t watch that. I can’t let the kids watch that. If you go, we’re done.”

Stiles watches his husband; sees the resolute hardness in his eyes and sees that it’s a mask for worry and hurt. He can see the anxiety in the wrinkles in his brow and fatigue in the bags of his eyes. He hates that it’s all because of him, he hates that it could all go away if he’d just say no to this role.

“I guess we have a month then. Can you give me a month of my family?” Stiles asks softly.

A sob escapes Derek’s mouth as he wipes a stray tear from his face. He swallows and nods, sighing in defeat and kissing Stiles on the forehead before going into the kitchen to start dinner. Stiles goes to the shed outside and breaks down, lowering himself to the ground as his tears streak his face. It’s bad, it looks bad because it is bad, but it’ll all be worth it in the end. When Derek sees the performance, he’ll understand and Stiles can fix this. He’ll just spend the next month being the best, most attentive husband he can be and Derek will see that it’s not a drug, and that this last time is _the_ last time and-

The month is tense. Stiles tries, but Madison tells him nearly everyday she hates him for making Papa sad and Benji treats him like a stranger that only shows up occasionally to tuck him in and play video games. Madison watches him at night as he goes to the guest room to sleep and later hears Benji ask her if they’ll have two Christmases. He helps out with a local theater production and steps in as understudy one night for the lead who was sick. He gets uproarious applause and Derek and the kids are in the front row with roses. It’s enough of the same to be warming, but different enough to serve as warning. Madison is detached in her phone, Derek looks wistful and sad for the love he thinks he’s lost, and Benji is grasping tightly onto his Papa’s hand, seemingly not understanding what he’s feeling at all.

Stiles jumps off the stage and kisses Derek before wrapping his kids into big, embarrassing hugs. They go to a diner for pie and milkshakes and that night Derek fucks Stiles up against the wall and they collapse into Derek’s bed before falling asleep. The next morning after breakfast, Derek drives Stiles to the airport.

He’s been in New Orleans for two weeks and they’re readying to begin filming. Some of the poster promo shots are being taken ahead of schedule due to some last minute changes which means they’ll have to do them without the benefit of a performance. Sure, they’ve had the table reads and some dress rehearsals, but they’re essentially setting these shots up cold. Stiles asks one of the lead actors how he’s going to pose.

“They say it’s just a profile, so I’m going to do the clench faced action hero thing, you know? Lots of stress, _ahh, the oil!_ all of that.”

Stiles guesses that sounds like a good idea; generic, safe. He’s not too worried about it, it’s just a poster.

“Don’t worry about it kid, it’s just a poster. Wanna bump?” the actor says, holding out a small vial. Stiles looks up and as he reaches forward he twitches.

Shit, he fucked up.

He’s called onto the set and is placed into position. He’s already been through makeup so his face is dark and grimy and his hair is disheveled. The photographer is giving him some generic instructions, but he’s barely listening. All he can think about is portraying a kid he doesn’t even know for a piece of metal tied down with demands and expectations. How he’s lost his family and it’s not worth it. How the story of bravery has been lost to him, and in its place are coke fueled poster shoots and networking with castmates to try and secure the next role. The next hit.

He tries to school his face into the tensed action star while they take light readings, but he’s unable to hold it. The more the weight of the situation bears on him, the more his facade falls. He feels broken. He’s at the height of his career and the murky depths of his love life. He’s broken his family and has lost them forever for what? He wanted Derek to support him, but he’s not even sure who he is anymore.

He face falls from gritty, but tough blue collar worker to broken, resigned man shocked on the worst day of his life. He exhales a sigh before hearing the camera’s “ _click_ ”.

“Wow… that’s _different_ , Mr. Stilinski. _Good_ different, really good. Shit, I think we got it, well done, Stiles. I’ll see you in 20 for the group shots.”

Stiles nods and heads back to his trailer. He picks up his phone and calls Derek.

“Please.” He says barely above a whisper.

“Stiles, I can’t do this right now. You shouldn’t be- I can’t do this-”

“I’ll leave right now. We haven’t started filming, but I’ll leave right now. I fucked up, Derek. I fucked up so bad!”

“What? How? Just because something bad happened doesn’t mean you get to use us as a fallback. We’re not disposable, you can’t just-”

“The only bad thing is that I gave up on us. That I gave up on our family. Things are great. They fucking praised my performance during a damned photoshoot, I’m at the top of my game and I’m miserable because you and the kids aren’t going to be here with roses.”

“Stiles.”

“Tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I survive in the movie, I’m one of the few, but if I don’t have you and the kids, I won’t survive, please. Please, Derek.”

“Baby… I don’t- I don’t _know_.”

“Do you still love me?”

“I’ll always love you, Stiles. Always.”

“Then please forgive me, and give me the chance to earn it, to show you that you’re all I need. _Please_.”

Stiles finishes the shoots and goes home. He does the contract mandated publicity and is nominated for a Golden Globe (which he doesn’t win) and an Oscar (which he does). The award is accepted on his behalf as well as the SAG award he wins later in the month. He spent the Golden Globes in rehab and the SAG and Oscars on a couch snuggled against his husband while his family drank sparkling apple cider from fancy champagne flutes.

He’s back into doing supernatural work and writing books, and he still helps out with community and school theater. He works hard everyday and when he goes home he curls up with his family. In their den is the poster of the photo he took for _Deep Water Horizon_. Derek still refuses to watch it, but both are thankful every time they see it hanging there.

In _their_ home.

**

  **The Beginning**

**Author's Note:**

> Still trying to figure out what to do with my [Tumblr](http://ficcindylan.tumblr.com), but come check it out!


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